Theory 1
There are three main theories, none of which escapes criticism. Freud and his followers believe that the child’s gender-identity develops through various stages, all of which are characterized by the child’s desire for immediate pleasure and its other desire to avoid pain.
Very small babies obtain pleasure, as well as obtaining food, from sucking. This is the oral stage of sexual development. It is followed by a second stage. Now the small baby gets pleasure from being able to open its bowels or to prevent itself from defecating. This is the anal stage; in it the child has learnt to say Yes or No! It has learnt to give or to withhold.
Freudians believe that these two stages occupy the first two years of a child’s life. It then enters the phallic stage. It becomes aware of its genitals and of the pleasure it can obtain from manipulating them. It also becomes curious about objects around it and wants to put its finger in things. Freudians believe that in this phallic stage a child develops an erotic attachment to the parent of the opposite sex and a feeling of rivalry, perhaps of aggression, to the parent of the same sex. But the child has a problem.
For example, if the child is a boy, Freudians believe that he ‘instinctively’ wants to possess his mother sexually and at the same time feels aggressive to his father, who already possesses her and whom he sees as a rival. This puts the boy in an emotional dilemma. In the first place, he does not have the capacity (or the knowledge) to possess his mother. In the second place, although he is aggressively jealous of his father, he also loves (and fears) him. The two conflicting emotions produce guilt. He believes he deserves to be punished, and this punishment will involve him having his penis hurt, or cut off. If he has noticed that girls have no penises, his fear is confirmed – they are mutilated boys!
To resolve his guilt and escape his fear of genital damage, he gives up his erotic desire for his mother and imitates his father, so that he may obtain his love and, some day, his father’s prerogatives. Once the child has resolved his dilemma and identified with his father he has begun to develop a male-identity and has started to establish his gender-identity.
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